Part Deux

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The loss of my children was hard to fathom. The day it happened I had my best friend with me and we were out doing something. I can’t remember what. I do remember receiving a mobile phone call, sliding down the side of my car and feeling like I was about to die. Somehow, J managed to get me home, and I remember my Father giving me two pills and I promptly fell asleep crying.

During this time without my children I concentrated on my studies. I had a few boyfriends, one was even serious. However, they all let me down which seems to be the theme in my relationships. I finished my TPC at TAFE (Tertiary Preparation Certificate) and was accepted to the University of my choice, in my first choice of a Bachelor of Teaching (Primary).

I studied and thought I had made two good friends, but on the night before our exams the male used my past against me. I trusted him as he didn’t have custody of his children, I told him all which he then used to manipulate me into a situation I didn’t want to be in. He raped me, and my distrust of men went up to its highest point.  After counselling, my opinion of men was saved.

University life after this was terrible but I carried on. I was happy to see my children on their scheduled visits. I did meet a lovely lady who lived close by. We ended up car pooling for the next five months, and after numerous prompts from her I was worn down and accepted a night out at the local pub. I almost didn’t go. I was going to ring and cancel, but for some reason I decided to go.

G and I drank, danced and had so much fun. She was out with her then boyfriend who was a Corporal in the Army. She insisted on introducing me to a guy that worked with her boyfriend. She told me he was in the same position with two children to an ex who was a nightmare and even if that didn’t tempt me, she told me a one night stand might do me good.  I wasn’t sure, but I was clouded with the alcoholic fumes and he was cute. So, Ben and I hooked up and I took him home with me. He was a gentleman and understood my fear of men.

The next day G invited me over for pizza to cope with the hangover we both had. I received a phone call from Ben, asking if he could see me again. I gave him G’s address and he turned up in uniform and in a beautiful blue car. I still remember this today. The way the air smelled the cheeky smile he gave me and how humble he looked trying to establish a connection with me.

After years of looking, when I’d finally stopped I found HIM. The man of my dreams and his name was Ben. We spent every waking moment together from that day onward, work permitting. Within two weeks I proposed and he accepted. I was not going to let him get away, and I now know he felt the same about me.

We were married three months to the day later in his hometown. Basically, we eloped but we had a small intimate wedding and I think that was the turning point in my life.

Since then, we dealt with his nightmare ex running off during a custody battle with his children. We ended up having custody of his two beautiful children after she was found guilty of neglect. We survived her torment and had an AVO against her as she threatened to harm her own children. Ben lost his mother to her love of drama and blackmail. She is still in contact with the nightmare who physically, emotionally and sexually abused his children.

We have overcome so many issues and are raising his and my children together. His children are intellectually disabled due to environmental problems as babies. My children have commitment and parenting issues mainly with women in their lives. We have reached a place in our lives where we are content and happy. Something is missing though, and it will be another story about how we came to the decision of trying for another child to add to our family.

Stay tuned